Smile?!

Persuading myself to smile and smile and smile. Don't even drop a single tears for him anymore. I don't want to cry for him. He's cruel. Cruel than me. I feel like asking him why, but I still speechless when he is with me. And of course, he never with me also. Haha.

Just I so stupid stared at him and hope he will turn his sight back and look at me. But he NEVER. He still like that. Never changed. He likes to walk infront of me no matter how. I trying my best not to let him surpass me, but he might faster than me. He should know I hate to walk behind him, yet he still like to do that. Looking at his back, I feel like crying suddenly. My tears rolling in my eyes. I slap myself and ask myself to wake up. I have to wake up.

Was raining heavily just now. I scare the thunder. But he didn't with me. I looked at him. He should know I looking at him. But he turn his sight to another girl. He still smile like usual. Wtf. Just I myself think too much. I thought he will come with me and ask me don't scare. I thought. I close my eyes and wipe my tears. My mind appear his words. Haha. I hope he didn't see my tears. I am strong. Still that strong even though without him.

She looked at him. I know she feels suffer also. But what can I do? I still don't know. Din even brave to talk with her. I feel fear. Scare that another incident will happen. He won't trust me no matter how. He won't he won't he won't. Just let me alone. I feel lonely when he didn't talk with me. We both still speechless. We used to be like this. Always like this. No talk no smile.

Waiting and waiting for his message. His phone got credit and he read my message. But he never ever want to reply me. I feel disappointed on myself. "Ykw, wake up." My mind asking me to do this. But my heart says:"Give him a chance. He will always with you. Just give him the chance no matter how hurt he treats you." I gonna turn crazy. I can't even study. Hugging the pillow. I miss him.

Listening the song "yue ai yue nan guo" by Kenji Wu. The lyrics makes my tears.
"If you want to leave, I won't ask you to stay. I don't care how hurt will I after you leave. I just want you to tell me what you want even though just one sentence. That is more than enough." I will be strong. Be selfish to myself. He is cruel. I will be cruel. Don't cry. Don't love.