9/4/08

I failed my sejarah. What should I say? I really don't know. I didn't feel sad or anything. I just feel that myself really stupid. Isn't worth to do this? For him? Just for him. I really don't know. I am such a failure. I keep on asking myself whether worth or not. Although I know the answer clearly.

My new life still like that. I didn't follow the promises. I still like that. Still care of him. Still concern about him. Still think of him. Still miss him. He never ever want to believe me. He didn't trust me anymore. My heart feels nothing. No pain no hurt no sad. Just like that.

My biology got only 40 marks. Everyone got 70+. Teacher asked me why my result so bad? I don't know how to answer her. I told her I really study hard and memories for bio. but I don't know why when sitting for test, my mind blank. First time I feel that scare and panic when exam. My mind just blank. And just appear him and her. Wtf. I just tikam for the test. I forgot everything. Really. Damn.

I wonder why my life become like this. Just like shit only. I didn't expect myself will turns this. Unpredictable. But I can decide because this is my life. But everything changed. His heart his way his smile. Tis is so cruel and this makes my tears. I shouldn't think so much anymore. I cannot think so much.

The stars are bright and nice. I miss him. Really. I hate myself like this. I still cannot wake up. I...... Lose everything. Waiting for his message. But I know, he will never reply. Never mind. Stars are bright plus the songs I like. this is more than enough.