Life

I waiting for someone to get into my mind.

I love my family. I love my friends. I love my dear. I love all. Time flies and I growth up. I thinking of to skip for the times as I can still keep younger. But too bad I can't escape from the reality. I started to think for my future. What's the real things I need in my life? What's the important things for me? And what's the needs for my heart? Everything occur and make me become weak. I don't know why, or maybe I still not fully prepare yet. I still can't face the real yet. How real is the world? How real is peoples' heart? I wonder.

Hopefully things getting smooth after a long break. I trying to be more independent and be more tolerant. My mind changed and I become more mature. This is a good thing for all. But I'm still the bad girl that always pissed my parents up. Yea I admit I am still a small girl for them. Forever :) Always and always I tried to be patient but I failed to do so at the end. Learning to hold my breath so that things will come more successful. I want to get things success because I'm a big girl right now.

I am glad that I get a good lover. He taught me alot that makes me feel good. He fills up my life and brings me happiness. Of course there are sadness but I get to go through it with my heart <3 He is a sweet lover that brings me warmth. I enjoyed the moment with him.


P/s: That's something. So sincere from my heart. 2023~

Emo

I feel to cry right now. Read some blogs that touch my heart. I get the real feeling of human. Friends and family. I love them much :D But i still remain emo. Recalling the scene. I still can't control myself. I trying my best not to think. I will not destroy it easily. I hope I can make it. I must do it.

Feeling so tired but his smile could bright me up. He just like a bright star that can bring me up. I love him much :D I miss him much right now. Again I need to wait for a week to meet him. I want to hold his hand to let him feel my warmth! Too bad I can't stay here with him for the new year eve. Thinking to skip from genting again. I want to stick with him. I want to give him a big hug so he feels my exist. Thanks him for giving me lots of love. I love it much. And I love the christmas eve's night. With laughter and love from him. A special night for the first anniversary.


P/s: Love has different taste for everyday, the love for today is sweet~ So sweet so sweet. Love you my 2023 <3

Words

Many things running in my mind right now. I could not get the proper speed. Spreading the whole things out. I don't know what I gonna say but I feel something different. It is weird? Maybe. The sight looks scary that make me fail to have it.



I wondering. But I love it.


P/s: one year :)

Tang Yuan

Yea I like tang yuan :) miss him so much right now. Hope he is here with me to hug me tight. I was wondering why the smile so awkward. I'm fine with that. Take things normal and it will be fine. Finally I did it. The first time after a year past. It is a little weird and embarrassed! But I enjoy it with the heart. True heart. Nice to meet everyone. Jia You!


P/s: Praying for you. Don't scare I will always with you <3

Now

I thinking so much again right now. I wonder why I can't control the tears. Everything really break down my confidence. I tried hard to solve it and tried hard to be smart. But I got nothing at the end. My heart feels something. something that affect me lots. I lost the point to be continue. I lost the point to be the one. I lost the starting point. I'm still the failure. Those words are like the sword. I can't stand of that anymore. I need help from anyone. I need rescue from who ever. But I know, I will still get nothing. Stranglehold the feeling to make myself feel better. I must be tough and strong. I thought I can make it but I fail. I fail to make it perfect. I fail cause I still think so much. i fail cause I lose the opportunity. I fail cause I used to it. I fail to be myself.


P/s: I miss you. I miss you. <3

Shopping

I love shopping~ Still waiting.. I will still waiting.. Muacksss <3

Gathering

It feels good after 6 years we never gather. I like the feeling and that moment. We were recalling the primary life and started to tease each other. Wow. Can't wait for another gathering.


Thanks al my dear friends that bright me up! I will treasure everything I'm having now!

3/12

I cant really get what it means but i feel suffer of that. I cant do anything right? Just to wait for it. I scare I will lost my patient. Lend me your hand. I need you.

Realising

Erm, what to say? I feel something wrong right now. I can't even cool down myself. My mind keep on repeating the words. I wondering....... Just like a sharp sword that pierce my heart. I feel pain. I don't know what to say about this pain. I just can't explain it by words.

I need you right now but where are you? Why still treat me so cruel that tear off my soul and make me have to admit my weakness? I thought I will be strong. I thought I can make it perfect. I thought I can let it be. I thought I can use it normal. I thought I will be the only one. But all I thought just nonsense. HAHA!

Tears will not cure any wounds. Tears will make wounds become more pain. Tears will drop down my dignity. Kw must Jia You. Don't cry no matter how. Hold it on and believe that first thing that touch both heart. Love can be great when you learn to considerate. Be smart because he always with you.


P/s: With me here when I need you.

Treasuring

On phoned with my friend just now and she mentioned that must watch 2012 with my dear. She said after this we sure will treasure what we having right now. I laughed after get what she meant. Then my tears started to roll in my eyes. I can't ever get to forget it. I don't want to give up easily. I want him to be with me always. I will treasure what we having right now or even our future. Waiting miracles to happen. I hope to give the best so that things will always be smooth and fine. Don't ever break up anything that should remain unchanged. I will not let it be like this as I can't lose. I want to be more happiness than last time. Stand by my side and show out your hand. I will warmed it up and won't let it go anymore. My precious!


P/s: Be mine. My 2023 <3

Past Tense?!

Sms-ing with my friend just now and I get his respond was like talking that she is just his past tense. This make me think alot. My mind stared to recall all the stupid things that fed me up! I can't even read it properly before it ruin my mood. I don't know why I m so damn foolish until now I still never let it be. Haiz. Wtf. I m speechless.


P/s: Waiting miracle to happen. I just want to be with you. 2023 <3

Tiring

Finally end up my sem 2 and 3 months holiday are waiting for me. I wonder why my heart feel suffer. I can't get my real feeling. I don't know what things had influence me. I don't know why things will be like this. I really don't know. Maybe I have to or I must face it as well. Started to bull shit-ING. That's really suffer me up! I gonna fed up. Stop influencing me. I can't stand on you! Failure!

Wondering...

2 more weeks to go. We are all struggling for final. I trying to do everything in time as well. I hope to get the best but I know I couldn't make it. I putting afford. I learning to appreciate.

Don't ever try to break me down. I will never give up and lose to u. I persuading myself now. Wondering isn't I can make it perfectly.


I wan fly to Australia. Forget the things that suffer me here. Leave me alone. I hate to get controlled.

1112

Happy Birthday to Evan Yo :)

I'm late here..

huh?

November? 2 more months 2009 will end up. Swt. Time passed without any signals. I feel not contended. I wonder why.

Don't think so much. I will Jia You. Don't lose.

Feeling

I thought I can really let it be but I realise that I can't make it. It been a long long time that I used to be like usual I used to act like usual I used to make like usual. ALL FAIL. I hate myself for not giving up like this. Isn't my fault or what I really don't know. I started to lost the confidence and lost the trust. Controlling my mind to get more peaceful. It just like a huge stress blocking my way. I feel suffer of that. I can be cruel but it is hard for me to act cruel. I don't want to give up easily. I want that as what I wanted since a long time ago. I will be more happy and be more smart. Don't try to hurt me without any words. I will not let u win without any action. I will fight u till the end. Because the end for me is only us. You couldn't understand how deep the feeling we had for each other. I will treasure it not just like u. Ykw will win. Fight u down down down down down! LOOSER u!

24 hours

Tired. I feel tired. My soul or my heart. I hate to wait and get nothing yet. Holding everything. I have to be patient. I don't want to influence everything. I want to keep this relation on. I trying my best to smile and be happy. But my eyes betray me. So pain. I want to cry loudly but I know I have to endure it. Hard to stay alone because I started to think so much. I just want the real feeling spreading out. I will be patiently and will be more tough.

24 hours. I laughing at myself. I get nothing at all. I have to be more mature. Nothing cannot been solve. I must learn to tolerate as well to achieve the things I want. Hold my tears or else I will non stop crying. Be more cheerful to see the brightness of the sky. I miss that moment when we were in high school.

p/s: I hate to be alone. Don't leave me alone. I need your hand to bobo me.

Trying

I trying not to cry. I'm tough enough to face the fact. Don't let anything to turn me down. I will be strong like last time.


But I realise that I can't be tough and strong. My mind keep on recalling me about that scene. That hurts me lots. Not even one word explanation from him. He should know I will cry I will sad I will hate. I don't know how to trust that. I'm failure. My mood being influenced by this stupid nonsense. I can't even concentrate on my presentation works. Don't wait and don't expect too much. End it directly and perfectly. I hope I can do it. No, I must do it. Ykw wky.


p/s: Leave me alone. Don't ever come near me. Your words might kick me in the deep hell.

Nervous

This is the first time I meant to be yes. Nervous for the whole moment. I wonder why I'm so lousy. I wonder why I felt scare. I'll Jia You. Will never lost the point.


~Never let you go~

Holding

I trying my best to hold my tears.






Jia You.

Swt

So swt so swt and so swt. The stupid assignments seriously making me headache! I trying my best to get the best. I'm so glad to have some friends that really rescue me. I love you guys lot!! Jia You for everyone. I started to be hyperactive. I will smile always. :D

=)

A big smile for everyone. I hope everything will be fine as last time. Praying hardly. We still have to move through and fly forward to achieve our dreams. Give each other the big big hug to Jia You.

Assignments making me headache. But I will try my best to get the best. I will Jia You. So, let me fly myself. I believe I can.

Having insomnia these few weeks. I hope to sleep tightly every night.



"I miss my 2023. So much."

21/08/09

I get to know something. Don't know why my tears running off suddenly. Why every time things will be like this? I really have to admit it. She is just pretending to let go the things. I feel sad of that. Anyhow, I know what I gonna do. Be patient because I already meet the miracle. Close my eyes and Jia You.

Escape

Can I just escape from the truth? Being so depressed. I don't know what to say. I know I'm having heartache right now. This is what she think and what she want? Haha. Stupid myself. I thinking so much again. Close my eyes and Jia You.

Something......

I just want to say something. I feel moody right now. Who can come and rescue me?

Finally I got my results. Don't know why I feel like impossible. I don't think I did so good for that and yet I'm the highest scorer. CGPA 3.56. First time I feel like I'm useless. I'm happy when the moment I knew it but after more while and after being compared by my friends, my mood just drop into the deep deep hole. Don't know what to say. I'm blur now.

Memories that I miss

I was in the sick condition this few days. I was worried that whether I got H1N1. But Thanks God. Luckily I didn't get it. Or else......................................... I can't imagine what will happen.. Haha!!

Finally I meet with Woan Ling that day. Although not longer than 1 minute I think, I already felt happy. It been almost 4 months we never meet if not mistaken. Hehe. Thanks Woan Ling.

Having sem break now. My sem 2 stars on 10th of August. Damn long time to go. I strated to turn over all the things that can recall my memories for my high school life. I miss those time when we were in uniforms. But no doubt that these were only our memories. Time just passed once in our life. I'm speechless. I scare things happen around us will come very sudden. I scare to lost but I know I have to face it.


Woan Ling, Cao Yuan, Huai Shin, Hua Yung, Yi-Bei, Fuan Chin, Huey Chian, Stella, Lydia, Sin Yee, Sin Ling, Zee Yee, Lie Siah, Hui Shin, Yan Ping, Lai Yee, Su Kee, Tsun Chian, Wee Wee, Tze Wern, Wei Ping, Jun Chen, Poh Keong, Vincent, Sheng Hao, Wee Soon, Chun Jie, Check Tang, Wei Siong, Kai Seng, Ming Wey, Jei Shen, Swin Wei, Cheng Huat, Chee Wei, Kim Hau, Ming Xiao, Zhen Vhei, Edmund, Wei Long, Yuan Zhen, Hwa Jun, Jeff, Chee Keen, Zi Wei, Shakthis, Loy Shine, Alvin, Syafiq and more. I seriously miss you guys. Everyone brings me different memories. I will treasure everything that we had. Thanks you guys for bringing me such a nice memories.


P/S: Woan Ling, Paiseh a. I didn't mean to copy cat ur post. But sure u fell happy of your appearance in my post. Haha.

Take Care my FrIeNdS!!

Pain

Feel pain.... I thinking to escape from the truth. Close my eyes and don't bother about that. I hope I can do that. Don't suspect anything. Be normal be usual. Jia you.

Miracle?!

I don't know what happen with me. I feel something wrong on myself. I controlling my mind my thought. I hope everything will become easier. Look forward and don't let anything influence me. I doing something totally meaningless. I don't know what I gonna share now. It being so suffer and so complicated to continue. Everything could make me speechless. I praying to get more peace. Don't ever try to break it down easily. But I can't stand for that. Wtf. I don't know what I really typing now. Blur condition. I'm seriously blur. Just confused. Stupid myself. Never mind. Be patient. I'll wait for miracle.

P/s: Twinkle twinkle little stars.......... Open my eyes then miracle appear. I'll always be with you.<3 Don't give up.

Mind

Controlling my mind not to think of it. I don't know why that feeling is so strong that stain on my heart. Close my eyes to reach the balance point. I hope I can but I know I can't. Be selfish to myself than I will take it more easy.

Heartbroken

This feeling was so sincerely. I felt something wrong on this. Michael Jackson was death last night since I'm in Thailand that time. I only knew it when I passed by a stall with only the Chinese new papers were selling. That feeling was so sad. I can't explain it by words. I don't really know him - he is so famous since I was only child. Anyway, hope the heaven door is open for him to give him get into a better place for more peace. Remembering Michael Jackson.

This feeling keep on running when I realized that my LTC really gonna starts his college life. I had the same feeling as that time he went to PLKN. Dear, I gonna miss u so much so much so much soon. Take care my dear. 2023 <3

Some words

Drop by to say something right now. I feel sad. Don't know how to describe the feel. You are too normal. Don't be like this. I want to see the real one. Isn't that's you? I hope you are okay anyway. Take care my friend. I am here to lend you my ears. Come PD anytime. Just a very near distance from S2. I know you keep on telling me that you're okay. Fine with that. I choose to trust you. Jia You. I have you beside, I will try my best.

P/S: You know who you're that I meant. Take Care. BYEbye.

Sudden Call

I just receive a sudden call form one of my friend. I being told by something. This exactly affect my mood right now. I dunno why life is so truth yet so cruel. I thinking so much right now. Tears being controlled to give myself a reason to get stronger. I don't want things to happen like this but these are out of our control. Accept it can stay stronger for it. Jia You, for those who need. I willing to lend my ears out.

P/s: Life is short. We have to treasure it.

525

525.....
A nice number to be present. Feeling tired right now. Miss potato so much. I dreamt of something last night. How to describe the dream, I'm speechless. For what I thinking so much again? To be honest, I waiting miracle to happen. But that are just fantasy. I tried to get through it as well. That consider a weird dream. Scary.

Feeling so down now. No why, just moody. Stop the thought now. I want to laugh loudly. I want to live happily. Argh!!!!

525.. No point now. Yeah!

P/s: Moody not because of potato, don't perasan my dear.

Forward

Looking forward for something that are precious. I hope that things would get more perfect. Everyday repeating the same things that make me feel to suicide. I keep on persuade myself to go through it as well since this is the propose of life. I growing to look for different things at the different view. Become more mature to get the point even though there is no return at the end. Feel satisfy with life and continue without complain anything. Stranglehold it. Doubtless, I fail to make it. The soul of life flies out and never get back to the normal point. The values are different.

P/s: I don't know what am I writing about. Charm liao. No safe liao.

Suffer

I feel suffer. First time the real things act infront of me. I can't stand for it easily. I thought I'll be fine with that. I thought I don't need anyone. But at last, I fail to make it. Everything. Closing my eyes to get some peace. I just need some to calm myself. Listening Kiss Goodbye right now. The scene would appear again and again. I will try my best to get through it. Will be fine to be myself. But one day, I will run away, to get the peace I wan.

Tonight

It been a very long time I never meet up with my other gang. They were parts of my life. Went to meet with them just now. I'm so excited for this moment. Maybe I growing up and feel to share them my experience. I looking forward for this gathering.

We went into Pizza Hut. The waitress was so polite and invite us. Unfortunately, the waitress said there is no Pizza for today. All of us just 'HAR' for the first reaction. Sounds funny. Pizza Hut don't have pizza then for what we come here. She said no more store for pizza. Then we decided to go KFC.

Quite a nice memory. We talked we laughed we had fun. I feel happy. Sincerely happy and enjoyed. Life still have to continue no matter what's going on. I just hope we can share happiness and sadness together. I will treasure every single friendship I having right now. Take good care for you guys. I miss you guys lots!

Suddenly

I hope everything will remain unsaid. I hope the love will remain unchanged.


Being suffer for few hours. Stomach feels pain. Keep on revising the same things. I waiting and waiting to achieve something. The eyes started to get red. The tears started to drop off. The heart started to pump fast. The hands started to type. The brain started to think. The mind started to flash.

I got things to share but feel it not to share. I feel so tired and sick of this way. Can't even get through it as well. Let the time past. Let the time past. Let the time past. I'll be more independent. I'll be more successful. I'll be more useful.

Stay stronger and don't easily drop the tears. Life still have to continue without words. Success or fail. Hold it can make it. A word to say, Jia You for all.

02/05/09 Lee Hom

Music Man Wang Lee Hom was so amazing. He did make me high for the whole night. Heartbeat. No words to describe that concert. I love it.

Recently

It been a very very long time I never write something here. My life is pretty busy recently. Started my college life at Lim Kok Wing-Interior design. I learnt alot of things there. Get to know new friends from other countries or local. Get to talk with them with all our experiences. But I have to say, THEY ALL ARE RICH!! Maybe this is life. I have to face it as well without any influence.

I grwoing up. Learnt to take bus to school every morning. Walk to the bas stop and being alone for all the days. Waiting for bases to come. This life make me crazy. I hate it yet I have to accept it. Alone for dinner. I never tried before. Keep on using my legs as transport. Can't online. No communicate with friends. Busy with my assignments. Swt.

But everything is worthy. I'm satisfy with this. And of course, I never waste money. Haha. My parents and tomato are happy with this. Pretty good! Getting through these slowly. I wil used to be. Don't worry.

Tomato, it would be fine when u're with me. I seriously not care about her anymore. Everything will end up like this. I just hope to stay happier with you. Thanks for your everything. That would bright me up when everytime I'm alone. The scene will appear again and again in my mind. Take good care. 2023.

Thinking

When I get to know something, I really speechless. I don't know what to continue. I'm lack of power. I didn't know everything will be like this. I don't know why my tears flowing out. I have nothing else to say. Maybe i really thinking so much. I fear of losing this. I............. Failure Ykw.

23/02/09

Happy Birthday. Take care LTC.

20/02/09

I felt happy because he called me. Thank you. I really appreciate it. Happy Birthday. I will be happy!

12/02/09

I'm sitting alone in my room and typing something meaningless in my blog right now. I got nothing to do yet I feeling so tired. Went Lim Kok Wing today and I get something. I miss him so much. I don't know what to do to let this feeling get fade. Waiting for his call yet I get nothing. Nvm, I used to be like this. He sure busy with PLKN's stuffs. I have to be patient to wait for him as what we promised before. Promises got value?I don't know. I not dare to believe it but I still trust him. He gave me the privilege. Ya, I with my heart waiting for him. I controlling my tears. Not to cry for anything although I read her blog which posted all about him. WTF am I doing? I started to persuade myself. Isn't I have to do this to get calm? Nope I think. So, Ykw sure wky. With him always. Jia You. Be strong.

Disappointed

I felt disappointed. This is me, YKW. I got nothing at all actually. Why I'm the last who know this? He makes my tears again and again. I hate to being control by him yet I still like this. I need him right now but I know he won't be around. He is still like that. Never changed. I can't endure and wait for that moment anymore. He makes me feel depressed. Maybe this is the time for me to do something. I still gonna wait. Don't cry ykw. Must Jia You. Ykw wky.

Now

The feeling now is so weird. My tears flowing out yet I must hold it. I know I can't think so much. I lost the confidence on loving u. Sorry. I will leave silently.

Fall For You

The best thing about tonight's that we're not fighting
Could it be that we have been this way before
I know you don't think that I am trying
I know you're wearing thin down to the core
But hold your breathe
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
You're impossible to find
This is not what I intended
I always swore to you i'd never fall apart
You always thought that I was stronger
I may have failed
But I have loved you from the start
Ohhhh
But hold your breathe
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
It's impossible
So breathe in so deep
Breathe me in
I'm yours to keep
And hold onto your words
'Cause talk is cheap
And remember me tonight
When you're asleep
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
Tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
You're impossible to find

.............

I'm speechless right now. I didn't know that everything will be like that. It's just meaningless. I'm a foolish person. Maybe I choose to quit out from this game. Hopefully I will gain back my confidence. I hate to lose yet I'm a looser. No starts tonight. My heart feels pain. My tears flowing out slowing without any feeling. Persuading myself to smile and to be brave. I trying. Really.

18/01/09

Doing nothing right now. Just finished chatting with my bro. I realised something. I find out that I love him so much. I'm serious in this relationship. I will be patient to wait for him. Persuade myself not to think so much anymore. Cannot let the happiness become fade. I must stay happy and of course smile always. Love my dear. I miss him. Cannot cry. I will stay strong for him.

My mind

I thinking so much now. Maybe I can't be like this. This is what I can do. I will stay strong.

05/01/09

This is purpose of life. I don't know what to say anymore but I really got no confident at all. Keep on getting that stupid things which influence my mood. I decide to throw everything from my heart. Don't ever try to appear in my life anymore. I don't want to make myself like this anymore. I still got my dreams and of course my future which full of joy and happiness. Ykw have to stay strong. Don't cry.

New Year

Now is 2009. My heart feel pain suddenly. I'm alone. Haha. I miss him badly. Don't know what to do. I only realize something. Should I try my best to do anything? I really don't know. My new year. Jia You. Don't cry!