Now

My heart feels pain right now. I cant stranglehold my feeling anymore. My mind keep on appearing everything we had. I can't even do anything anymore. Don't cry. But my tears still drop. I hate to be alone. But I'm always alone.

I'm an angel but also a devil. An angel that forgive everything he done no matter how pain he hurts me. A devil that want to keep on disturbing him although he asked me to stop this. It been confusing when time pass. I can't catch his sight and know his mind. I waiting my heart to be wilt and forgot everything about him.

I prefer to be failure than give up. But no choice between this. The choice is only the fact that I have to face. He is gone. Leave without anything. What for I still hesitate? I don't know what to do. I know that is the way he tried to protect himself from getting woes and pain from me. But that is also the fastest way to hurt me without any reaction.

I'm speechless. He still like to stare at me. But he still choose to be quite. Sound funny. But we used to be like this. Give me a chance then I will slap him. I want him to look into my eyes and my turn to be speechless. Haha. I gonna turn crazy. I'm sick of his way. I can't endure anymore. I'm not that strong enough to effort the pain anymore.

Time can cure my wounds. Have to trust this. I will try my best to get the best. For my own. Because this is my life. But for right now, I miss him. 2023. Jia You. Don't cry.