13/05/08

Finally mid-year exam gonna come to the end. I feel scare because I never study hard for this time. Haha. Cannot blame anyone. This should be my own fault. Never mind. Really don't want to mind.

I feel depressed. Looking at my biology book but I just put my sight on first page. Why? I cannot be like this. I have to study hard. For biology. But I wonder why I think of him. I can't feel him anymore right? I lose his warmth and his smile. Lying on my bed and hugged the pillow. close my eyes and my tears rolling down again. I failed to be myself. I thought I can stranglehold the feeling as well but I still failed. I thought I can be strong but it seems impossible.

I don't know why I will be like this recently. The memories with him come back easily and didn't fade-out from my mind. I ponder, why memory is so harsh? I too naive to have it? Maybe. This is the purpose of life. I have to face it as well. I won't think of much of that anymore. Cannot think so much of it. Really cannot. He wouldn't be mine anymore. I have to Jia You. To be myself. Not to be obvious anymore. Because Ykw talents in pretending. Jia You. Don't cry.

P/S: Happy birthday to Chen Wai. I know I still owe u a Zinger Burger. Will pay you when we meet ya. Take good care always. Jia You too! I will drive you to KFC ya. Happy Birthday!