Trying

I trying my best to chase him out from my life. I know its hard. But I really work hard. First time I trying my best to controlled my tears in the dark. I stared at the sky and the stars were bright. I make a wish under the sky and ask myself not to think of him anymore. My tears still drop. My heart feels pain right now. I don't know how to describe my feeling when I read her blog. She likes him so much. I can feel that. And he might fall in love to her again, I think? I told myself before that he's mine. But I know I'm just lying myself. This is just a lie. When it's the time to wake up, I have to wake up. I know. Really understand. I'm growing right now. "Let the tears drop ba. Just cry. Don't press yourself anymore." Someone told me. Ya, and of course I trying my best. But I wonder why, my mind now just full of him. I off my phone again and hope to receive his message when I on back my phone. But I know, I'm sick of waiting his message. I started to lose my confidence again and again. I delete his contact from my phone. I wanna delete all his messages. This is what I promised myself. But I still left some. Haha. My heart says don't want. I have to follow what my heart says. Respect my heart. Sounds funny right? Stupid ykw. I feel depressed. No why. Haha. I miss him. I still miss him. But I trying my best and really work hard. Persuade myself not to think of him. I know it's really funny. But it works. Keep on pretending. Keep on forgetting. Keep on smiling. Keep on hurting. Keep on be myself. Keep on loving. Keep on trying.