Tired...

Just finished do my homeworks. Feeling so tired.
Today no school because its Nabi Muhammad s.a.w's birthday... Wish him "happy birthday".
I miss him so much suddenly. I thought I won't cry,but my tears drop. The memories come back. I keep on controlling my mind, but I still failure.I hugged the pillow he gave me. I feel the warmth of his hands. His hair his eyes his face his smile. I remembered. I tell myself not to think of him. Ykw of course wky. But, really ykw wky? So easy?
I growing up. Give me sometimes. Time might cure the wounds. I believe this. I trying my best. I will Jia You.
But for now, give me the chance. Give me the chance to miss him. Give me the chance to think of him. Give me the chance to get back the memories with him. Give me the chance to cry. Give me the chance to scold myself stupid. Just give me the chance.
I feel tired. Tired of pretending. Tired of losing.
I'm really tired.
My heart...feel tired.
I want to rest. Just for now.
I miss him. As much as he missed me. Don't cry.