Pain

No pain no gain. Who says? I got the pain but still no gain. Useless.
Its raining heavily right now. My heart feel pain. I listening the songs I like. I tell myself to stay happy and of course don't think of him.
I wonder why. My heart feel pain. This called growth. Someone told me this. "This is growth. One part of your life to be growth."
My tears screaming down. I scare the thunder. It been strike my heart without any of his message appear in my inbox.
I off my phone and hope to get his message when I on back my phone. But he NEVER. NEVER means NEVER.
I hugged the pillow. Let me cry silently. I still cannot treat this as nothing. I'm still a failure. Give me a chance to miss him.
The rain becomes heavier. The god get mad or sad? I don't know. Trying my best to ask the god don't cry. So as myself, big girl don't cry.


p/s:I miss him. So much.