Maybe

Still like that. My phone didn't rang. No his msg or call. Maybe I started to think so much right now. Being confused of this type of questions. I couldn't think this way yet I will think this way. I feel like crying. We are only stranger. I can't even feel his mind. His smile is lack of power. I can't feel the last time him anymore. Maybe this is the most best distance between us. Maybe maybe maybe. Cannot maybe anymore. No means no. I feel tired of this. Don't want to continue anything. Don't cry. Jia You.

2023

Finally I realized something. Why these few months he never want to talk with me. Stupid myself. The reason is only so so so simple. Luckily now I get know the truth and I will treasure everything. 4 months left. Jia You.

My life is so happy right now. Haha. My LO^3. Stupid kia. Don't ever expect he would change this in my contact. And he still get my PIN code. Dare he didn't get I will kill him. But I can't guess his msn password.

Just hope we are like normal. Don't want change back to last time. Didn't talk didn't smile. I scare that feeling so much. My 2023. I miss him so much now!!

Olympic---Badminton

Lin Dan won for the badminton champion. Our Lee Chong Wei got only silver. Haha. Expected. Actually I not believe that Lin Dan would won for that. I fully confident on Lee Chong Wei. Lee wor. Lee family ma. Yet we cant escape from the fate.

The whole Malaysia were so concentrated on this match because it is the world champion versus the world second. Sure interesting. Nobody can predict whether Lin or Lee will win. But finally, Malaysia's hope got spoiled! Don't ever put blame on Lee. He already tried his best. He got lots of pressure and he himself really push himself too much. Some more Lin did a good job. He is AMAZING. I didnt even see him so geng before! Lee really no more fight with him that day.

I feel like crying after the match ended. Whole Malaysia was down for that moment. Whole China was full of happiness. But we are proud of Lee. Olympic. Haha. No more lo. No matter how still support Lee. Thanks for bringing Malaysia and of course CHINESE so proud! Haha! Jia You.

Last night

I really crazy. Just drive out at night just to meet him for a while. He showed me his new spect. I realized something. My heart feels pain suddenly. He asked me drive carefully but I didn't turn my sight to him. I don't want him to see my tears. Haha. I'm strong infront of him.

I miss him for the whole day. Sat infront my pc and my tears drop again and again. His voice could made my tears. I read her blog and think of them. I shouldn't do like this. He still like her although I trust him that it is NO. I have no more courage to comfort myself. It is so pain when she looked at his eyes. I can't even follow their rhythm.

I don't want to know anything anymore. He said he will wait.... Wait for someone. I don't want to ask him who is the someone. I hate to know the truth. I just want to be someone beside him right now. As a GOOD FRIEND. I willing to do so. 4 more months to go. We have no more chances. But I just want to be myself. Just be myself infront of him.

I will Jia You although it is really without him. I waiting something to happen after our SPM. I don't want to see him suffering anymore. He and her really look match to be couple. I sincerely feel so. Don't cry anymore. I really cannot waste my tears anymore.

I miss his smile. But it is not mine.

Recntly

We both become so close recently. He likes to look at me and smile. I can feel the last time feeling yet I know I can't think so much anymore. Let everything be like usual then everything will be fine. I scare to lost him again in my life so I won't do anything. Be myself then it is enough. Maybe I'm too obvious but I just like to be myself.

He still like that. Like to say about other guys infront of me. No matter how hard I explained, he will never except and keep on saying again and again. I know I cannot control his mouth but I really feel like killing him when he say so. He should know I hate that feeling but he likes to play me by that way. I hate him that know how I feel but still pretending. When he pretend I feel like crying.

And I also like to say about her infront of him. He told me that she is his gf. My tears drop when I heard this. I don't know why I still so care abouth this. He is joking but I treat that as truth. She is just for him in his eyes. I'm only nothing. Ya, I have to accept the truth.

Keep on waiting and waiting for his msg just want to know everything about him. Ykw really failure. I can't even give up. Haiz. Really no more medicine to cure. I'm useless. I miss him so much right now. He got stomachache. I'm worry about him. Hope he will be fine when it is without me. My 2023. He can guess my PIN code. We got something in our heart. We are clear for this. I won't spread my own secret. I want to keep it. Jia you. Don't cry even though it is without him.

Mind

I dunno what he meant by that. My heart feels pain when get to know that things. He looked at me and smiled. He dunno why I feel so bad when I know something. I close my eyes so that he dunno I cried. Cannot like that. I have to stay strong. He is just nothing for me right now. Cannot think so much anymore. Dun ever feel anything when he really give me hope. I have to stop everything. He won't ever want me back at the end. Ykw Jia You. Don't cry anymore. Ya, I cannot waste my tears anymore.

08/08/08

Finally it is 08/08/08. Olympic. I'm so excited because CHINESE are proud for this. Yet, I'm still so stubborn waiting for his msg. I told him to msg me when he reached home but I didn get any msg from him. He don't know I'm worry bout him. Sure he treat that I won't ever care of him. Haha. Ykw really not important in his heart anymore.

P/s: 08/08/08. He never looked at me and smiled. I hate myself being like this. I miss him. So much right now.

04/08/08

I get to know something and I really really really realized. I know what else can I do. Waste my tears for the last time. My heart feels pain and hurt. Still like that. Still like to wait for his msg yet I know he won't msg me. Shit myself. Endure my pain and tears infront of him. It it so hard to pretend and act nothing. I'm not a good actress. Don't want to be like this anymore. I just want to be myself. Just cry. Don't endure anymore.

wkybh

So tired for these days. I don't know what can I do to get myself awake from that feeling. I'm afraid that will influence my everything. I can't even take my time. It is still so fresh and pain. But he don't know anything.
Misunderstanding, It is too scary. I scare of his way when he really misunderstanding me. Haha. wkybh. everyone say it is hbykw. Ya. Inverted. But I didn't meant that. wo ke yi be happy = wkybh.
I fell like crying right now. Waiting for his msg but I know I can't get anything as the return. Stop giving me woes and wounds. I cannot hesitate anymore. Have to make an atual answer right now. Jia You.
I miss him so much. But I will set him free. No need to stay with me. Because he needs her. ya I know it is truth. Don't cry anymore. I won't cry. Be strong.