Feeling

I thought I can really let it be but I realise that I can't make it. It been a long long time that I used to be like usual I used to act like usual I used to make like usual. ALL FAIL. I hate myself for not giving up like this. Isn't my fault or what I really don't know. I started to lost the confidence and lost the trust. Controlling my mind to get more peaceful. It just like a huge stress blocking my way. I feel suffer of that. I can be cruel but it is hard for me to act cruel. I don't want to give up easily. I want that as what I wanted since a long time ago. I will be more happy and be more smart. Don't try to hurt me without any words. I will not let u win without any action. I will fight u till the end. Because the end for me is only us. You couldn't understand how deep the feeling we had for each other. I will treasure it not just like u. Ykw will win. Fight u down down down down down! LOOSER u!

24 hours

Tired. I feel tired. My soul or my heart. I hate to wait and get nothing yet. Holding everything. I have to be patient. I don't want to influence everything. I want to keep this relation on. I trying my best to smile and be happy. But my eyes betray me. So pain. I want to cry loudly but I know I have to endure it. Hard to stay alone because I started to think so much. I just want the real feeling spreading out. I will be patiently and will be more tough.

24 hours. I laughing at myself. I get nothing at all. I have to be more mature. Nothing cannot been solve. I must learn to tolerate as well to achieve the things I want. Hold my tears or else I will non stop crying. Be more cheerful to see the brightness of the sky. I miss that moment when we were in high school.

p/s: I hate to be alone. Don't leave me alone. I need your hand to bobo me.

Trying

I trying not to cry. I'm tough enough to face the fact. Don't let anything to turn me down. I will be strong like last time.


But I realise that I can't be tough and strong. My mind keep on recalling me about that scene. That hurts me lots. Not even one word explanation from him. He should know I will cry I will sad I will hate. I don't know how to trust that. I'm failure. My mood being influenced by this stupid nonsense. I can't even concentrate on my presentation works. Don't wait and don't expect too much. End it directly and perfectly. I hope I can do it. No, I must do it. Ykw wky.


p/s: Leave me alone. Don't ever come near me. Your words might kick me in the deep hell.