23/07/08

It is 23rd again. My god. I still think too much. I thought I'm okay, but I realized everything is just a lie. I'm lying myself to trust that I'm nothing. Being furious on this to myself. Wtf. I don't know what to do. I already tried myself to save everything. Yet, I got nothing again and again. I heard something he said. I never want to know what he meant, but I knew the meaning. Stranglehold my tears and treat that as normal. But my tears screamed out. 54 again that related to her. Ykw have to wake up. Don't think of him anymore. Don't cry for him. Jia You. 

Failure

I never ever expect that I'll like that. So failure when I stand on the stage infront of everyone. Wtf am I doing that time? My mind black and I stuck on the stage. I don't know what to do. Keep on memorize but I still get nothing. It is so xia shui and hurt when I being like that. My tears drop and I feel angry of myself. Haiz. Ykw really useless. I thought I can do well. But why? No more why to go. I'm not that strong enough actually. I hate my tears and of course myself so much. Just realize that I'm that failure. 

Stranger

Walk beside him but we are only stranger. He looked at me and smile. I turn my sight and my tears drop. I really cannot think so much anymore. He is not mine anymore. Keep on continue to pretend. Don't ever let him know anything. Have to stay strong even though without him. 

15/07/08

So tired. Really tired. My heart or my soul. I looked at him and my tears drop suddenly. I wonder why suddenly will be like this? People said I just pain until no more feeling. Haha. Ykw still that useless. I don't know what to do. I miss him so much right now. Having add maths test tomorrow. No mood to do revision already. Hehe. I can't do anything. Yaya. Stop my tears and stop thinking of him. I have to study hard. Jia You.

Sorry..

Sorry..

Please forgive me..

And thank you..

I really appreciate it lots..

p/s: To someone I want to apologize with my true heart. (You know who you are that I mentioned.) Jia you.

7 days of July

7 days I didnt meet with him. He doesn't know how much I miss him. I trying my best to pretend infront of everyone. Haha. Success lo. Of course la. Don't cry infront of anyone. Don't let anyone know what I'm thinking of. Don't want anyone to feel that I'm still that stupid. I'm stubborn. 

Nothing else I can do. Let everything be. Keep on be myself and don't ever put any hoe on it anymore. Let him be like what he wants. Don't talk don't smile don't do anything. Its ZERO between us. I never expect this will happen before. NEVER.

Nvm. Just like that. I'll respect his decision. No more hope. I won't hope anything. Stranglehold everything. Don't hesitate anymore. Not worth at all. I have to study hard. For my SPM. Jia You. Ykw don't cry. Have to stay strong even though without him. 

Wtf

Why I still so failure? I cant even stop my tears. I hate myself so much. Isn't this is what I get after I put so much effort on it? Fuck! I got nothing as return. 5.30am! Wtf! Rushing and accident! Feeling depressed!